17 and 22

I just woke up from a random nap cos I woke up way too early today at 0730 to help out with the food for the ancestors. Been feeling under the weather these days, can’t wait to feel all normal again. Anyway, what do you know, I’m 22. Time really flies.

22.

I didn’t spend today in a particularly spectacular way and I’m not quite sure if admitting it would make me seem like… I really really really have no life? Ok, can’t deny it. But yeah, I spent the day largely with myself. Hmm, it’s kinda like any other day, minus studying and having random stuff to settle. Horrible weather though. I don’t even know how my nose can get blocked with such blazing heat waiting to evaporate all the molecules in my mucus.

But it wasn’t particularly bad being alone most of the time either. It seems to be the only day I had to myself since… god knows when. Caught up on stuff that I have been wanting to do (like finish a book and jumpstart my drama). I admit that it is odd though, because by convention, this sort of days should not be spent like that. It’s quite funny when I imagined spending my past birthdays like today. Given the way I used to view this day, I’ll probably be pretty sad hahaha. Yes, in the past, I gave a shit about the number of people who posted on my Facebook wall.

I still take note of it now haha, but definitely not so much now. That’s why I didn’t remove my birthday from social media. My narcissism still needs some life support. I’m thankful for all the well wishes today, whether they came in the form of Facebook wall posts/ Facebook message/ WhatsApp message. Some of them were unexpected actually. Some of which (actually one), I know is 99.999% purely out of courtesy. Shan’t elaborate more but I will gladly accept everything anyway. Thank you all, really.

Maybe it’s just me, but it’s nice to hear from people you haven’t been in contact for a while. And you start to recall how and when you first got to know them. And you get a bit appalled at how much time has passed in between then and now. And of course, how you are not the best kind of friend/buddy to have. And you feel touched that these people still spent that 30 seconds to type something for you.

I think there’s still some stuff I want to say, so I’ll go on. My birthday anyway, just gonna do whatever I want.

I don’t know why but I have this friend who likes to randomly ask me if I still have feelings for this person. Yeah it’s been a few times so I just felt like commenting about it. Ah and yes, actually this person is also who I think sent the message out of courtesy, cos I did send something before. My intentions were pure ok – I wanted to see if we can still be friendly friends, but no that didn’t seem to work out. Just don’t ask me why/who/what/where/how. But anyway, my final comment about it, now and ever, is no. I’ve moved past all that and if he finds someone then yay for him.

I think some part(s) of me changed somewhere in between 19 and 22 (oh my, it’s so long it’s scary). It’s defo not 3 full years. But at 19/20/21… I don’t even know anymore, whoever I was then, liked whoever he was then. But it dwindled over the years also. So now it’s like zero. I’m really very sure that if there’s anything holding me back from a relationship/being more than friends with someone else, he’s no longer a reason. Hmm now that I typed it out, it looks like a good piece to send to that friend who kept posing the same question. Nice.

Next. A random rant about how I think education should also encompass teaching people the way of life. I.e. pay taxes, learn about mortgages, housing, the big world out there outside the books. Like really, I know how to solve trigometry but I don’t know how all this financial thing works. I don’t even know how to really classify houses into 3/4/5 rooms etc. Oh look there’s a “maid’s” room! So… is that counted as a room? You can call me ignorant. The world wide web is there, but if you don’t teach it, everyone will just jolly well prefer to spend their time at YouTube. It’ll be an endless argument, but my point is, I just think it’s better if schools spent some time teaching thisss kind of life skills too.

Right, that’s about it.

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