Ok so my resolution has failed. It was sometime midweek last week that I realised I haven’t been posting. Then it was like… since it has already failed, I might as well just let it be right? But it was kinda funny how I totally didn’t detect anything amiss, and I wasn’t particularly busy to the extent that I’ll forget to post. But oh well. Here’s a midnight post. 🙂
I find it quite cool recording something down in the middle of the night; like you’re technically split in terms of the dates but your thoughts run on continuously. Yeah it’s just me haha. Felt like staying up a bit tonight… partly cos I took a short nap earlier in the day, and partly just because I feel like it.
Facebook reminds me of people’s birthdays, but at the same time, I just reminded myself that it’s a new year and I’m about to cross another milestone in life. That used to be something I thought was worth celebrating, for whatever reason I can’t recall/put into words. It just seemed like it’s a happy thing. It’s not as joyous now. I somewhat miss how I think of myself as the queen of the day whenever it’s my birthday (I really don’t know why I was like that hahaha), but it’s also kinda lame when I think about it now so I rather not think of that anymore haha.
I guess I just miss being younger. Because when you really think of yourself as being young, it somewhat equates to limitless energy, hopes and dreams unfulfilled and waiting to be fulfilled. Then as time passes, your energy dwindles, your hopes and dreams remain unfulfilled… you slowly grow jaded. ‘Jaded’ is definitely not the best word to use, but it’s the best word I can come up with now. Plus it feels so overused by other people, I want to use another word.
But anyway, it’s a vicious cycle. Few years down the road, I’m going to wish I’m here at this moment too. So yeah, to optimize the limited amount of positive energy that decreases with increasing age, we need to believe that we are indeed, very young. So that the “limitless energy/hopes and dreams” mindset will naturally set in. And what do you know, I chanced upon a song called ‘Young Hearts’ today. 🙂
Side note: It was also quite funny when I was googling the lyrics and the search suggestions came up with ‘young hearts bra’. Ok, don’t mind me for my sense of humour.