Rumbling tumbling mumbling

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Sup.

So I’ve been out the entire day running errands and coming up with excuses not to start studying again. Went for a run too (presumingly the first and the last run this holiday) and ended up running less than I thought I did. That probably means I’m slower too. I also came back with widespread rash too. Where the sweat stays, the rash appears. Quite an achievement nevertheless. I think it also goes to show how hermit-ish I’ve been to resort to solo sports activities rather than group activities. But that only applies to me though, it’s not a generalization that people who run are loners/hermits.

Anyway, I went along for my mum’s medical appointment at the neurology clinic. The doctor is pretty nice. It’s just that… we still don’t know what’s causing all the complaints of headaches and floaters. Whether the eye problems lead to the headaches or whether eye and neurology are separate issues by themselves. Both eye and neuro doctors opted for the watch and wait approach since there isn’t significant worsening of the symptoms. Both say the scans are quite benign as of now. But either way, it’s not comforting (nor is it easy to comfort my mum) that the floaters and headaches are there. 😦

I guess this is the crossroads of being part of the medical body (of which I’m currently still scum and/or beneath) and a family member. As someone with some bits of medical knowledge, you feel obliged to give some advice or some answers. But you can’t. Then as a family member, you feel like just pushing all the questions and responsibilities to the doctors, and just be there to book appointments or tag along for the visits. But you can’t. At least, your job scope isn’t just that.

Sometimes, I wish I can just shut my eyes and wait 3 seconds and when I open them, everything settles into place. Effortless. But it’ll never be that way. So for now, all I can do, though still considered very useless, is to write this down. Sigh.

In other news, I finally opened up my whatsapp chats too, because communication was necessary. Like if you say thanks to someone, you are obliged to reply to a group chat where the person is also part of the group. It’s etiquette and courtesy and social norm… which I find tiring. But it’s selfish to only talk to people when you need to, so I better brush up this lazy part of me.

It’s also time for me to change my sleeping habits to prepare for the next week. Been saying this since the start of the week. Also managed to somehow find a clean freak in me to wash my pencil case and white coat and some other clothes. Yeah yeah I’m not very hygienic. Quiet taken aback by how dirty the water was (except when I washed the white coat). It’s a sign… to pay more attention to my level of tolerance for dirt. Anyway, this time I’ll have nice smelling stuff to start school with. 🙂

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