Crazed

What will happen if I suddenly have time to stop and think? I overthink.

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to grow up. I can’t explain why even up till now. There’s something about being in an office, knocking off for ‘happy hour’, office romance, going out as and when you want, having responsibilities. Well, none of that has materialized so far. Responsibilities are creeping in but I choose to remain oblivious to them. I don’t like staying out too late, much less go to pubs and clubs and drink booze. I still have to tell my parents when I’m going out. Basically my life is pretty much the same as when I was a kid. My priorities are to work hard for exams. Yes, it’s something parents drill into you. But you have to admit they did well in that and it wasn’t a bad thing.

I’m just not sure when it really stuck with me such that it enveloped my life. Especially this year where the bulk  of the time is spent on academics(the ‘bulk’ just gets bigger every year, it amazes me how much more I can give). Now that I have a short break, I realised I don’t have much to do except to prepare for the next posting and for my research (which btw I’m procrastinating like madddd). There is kinda no point telling me to do whatever I want because I don’t know what I want to do. Which is a very sad thing.

Growing up sucks the fun out of everything.

I need a hobby right now.

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