It’s a very self-centered post today, all about getting and not giving.
I decided to give myself a deadline to make a stand. By the end of the year, I would decide if I want to continue the plunge or get up and move on. And if I choose the latter, I’ll stand by it this time. Honestly, I’m already tipping to the latter option because… I can’t find a good reason for the former, except for the fact that, I used to, formerly, at some point in time, be very happy with your company. Which is still not a good enough reason in my opinion because I’m just using the past to gauge the future. I hold on to the hope that all that can be replicated somehow though.
I think I forget that besides the fact that people can change (actually I don’t think you did), circumstances can change too, and I never realised it could deplete any form of content/joy with you. But it sure can, in small ways which I would have laughed at if someone else told the same story. It hits me in the head; how much 6 months can do.
One day these thoughts of love and wonder would stop and I can stop feeling the need to express them somewhere (like here). Is all this naivety?