Cloudless skies

I’m glad to say that whatever wreck I was in the previous post is over. That’s what I think for now. Hmm the people involved just acted like nothing happened. I still think that’s quite irresponsible but anyway, I’m relieved that I’m out of the mess.

I’m also glad that I’ve finished 2 books this holiday so far! A Child Called “It” is a recount of a person’s abusive childhood. I finished it in one day. One evening to be exact. Quite a good read, pretty appalling too I think. I’m fortunate to lead the life I lead now. And I’ll never want to go through such adversity to learn tenacity.

The second book is called Even When She Forgot My Name. The book is about the writer’s mother’s journey with Alzheimer’s disease. I never met anyone with that disease before so it was quite an eye-opener to me. Hmm there wasn’t much medical details in the books apart from a few drug names (which I already forgotten although I only finished the book a few hours ago) and a series of events that exemplified the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease. I also felt that it was a good book because it offered a standpoint from the patient and their family. Sometimes, it must be difficult as family/doctors to watch the patient resist treatment because of pain/discomfort but knowing it’s the only way to prolong life. Then you start wondering if what you’re doing is right/best for the patient…. Ok that’ll lead us to the ethics which was taught in school, which I prefer not to dwell upon haha. I always felt that every case shld be dealt with individually so I shall not say more.

There were a few other books which I started but never reached the halfway mark. Hmm English classics. Ahh I tend to drift away reading that. I prefer people giving me the gist of it. I realised I’m also not a fan of utopian (I don’t think this is the right vocab but I can’t rmb either) books. Nonetheless, still a good thing I’m reading right. šŸ™‚

Another thing to be happy about is that I ran today. Yes, after half a year or so. Not sure how much I ran but by estimation I think I covered 5km. New milestone! Previous record was 4km. Hmm I walked a fair bit, but still, I covered that distance. Many thanks to Mark Foster for distracting me by making me figure out what he’s singing (I was listening to Foster The People’s album). My body is a little sore, not as bad as when I had trainings, and I take it as a good sign! I like feeling fit. šŸ™‚

Getting contact lens tmr. Yep my first. I’m actually still apprehensive about poking my eye and putting a foreign object into my body haha. I just hope I wont take too long to wear it tmr. Oh yeah I’m only wearing it for sports so you probably won’t see me without specs much anyway.

Ok I’m an insomniac now so I’ll talk a bit more. Plus you know how night time always makes people a bit more touchy about their emotions.

I realised I don’t want to like you anymore, which in turn translates to, I don’t like you anymore. I don’t want to let myself feel elated over the small stuff and then feel sad that they don’t occur anymore. I dislike letting your whims determine my moods. Furthermore, I know I’m not one you’ll fight for and I can’t keep feeling foolish everytime I think you will. Liking you has made me love myself less. That’s just…. Not right? That’s ultimately why I’m not letting myself sink in this anymore.

I guess that’s partly why I’ve been trying new stuff/intending to try new stuff/doing things I put off for so long. Instead of wasting my time thinking about this, I’m missing out on so many other stuff I’ve yet to fully appreciate. In short, I ain’t got no time to waste on ya. Haha I guess you are a cloud with a silver lining. šŸ™‚

Sometimes you find yourself waiting
waiting for someone
To come around and it’s hopeless
Hoping to be found
Then it arrives and says “you’re perfect my love”
And I,
I know why
I know why
I know why

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