I could break away

I’m typing this as I’m on the train right now, no WiFi so I shall just publish this when I get home. Hmm pretty good way to save time while doing something I like and especially since it’s high time I de-stress. Maybe I shld update what’s happening in my life first.

So Pros are coming and I’m really feeling the stress alr! It’s so scary this time round. It is worse than A levels. I never had to memorize so much within such a short time before. And you know the thing about memorizing (for me) is that you can’t multitask and sometimes that’s just the most sickening part. In the past, when I studied for things like maths and physics, which require minimal memorization, I could at least listen to music. Actually that’s all I really need. All I really need to feel like the task at hand isn’t so arduous. It’s like you just follow the rhythm and beat and bop to your answer. Find the answer and feel happy, listen to the music and feel happy. Now it’s pretty much memorise and engrave the details in your mind… And I don’t know. Not exactly all that happy when I successfully memorise some crazy thing. And I end up with a headache after that as a bonus. And worry that I’m gonna forget what I memorized a few hours later. Is all that normal? D: Sigh. Most importantly, is all this worthed it?

Moving on. Tagged along for Project Spectrum’s weekly visit again to teach vball but it rained so we didn’t get to play. Taught a bit of maths instead. Hmm I really dunno how to teach it in a way so that she will stop being so intimidated by maths. At least we all tried. Learnt a bit more abt (let’s just call the girl S) S’s family. Wish I could give better advice but things that involve family are always difficult. Anyway, weekly visits are going to stop for now cos of Pros. Hence, one more thing to look forward to after Pros!

Hmm what else. All that’s boggling my mind right now is still Pros. šŸ˜¦ Anyway, I saw something at home… Which isn’t good. I wish I’m just over-thinking. I always tend to over-think the smallest things and undermine the bigger stuff… And sigh that’s just not right.

Talked to a friend recently and we talked about plans after Pros. I haven’t really thought abt it actually. I mean, yeah all the time, I go, I wish Pros is over I want my holidays. But I really just want to cross this hurdle smoothly and I don’t care if I’m a slob rotting at home for 3 months. Haha but of course it’ll be good if I do some fun stuff and live a life fit of a 20-year-old who’s supposed to be youthful, active, vibrant and radiating positive energy. Guess I’ll at least go to places I haven’t been to/haven’t gone for a long time! Thinking of parks and gardens actually haha. I really want to venture the outdoors more (as in less aircon malls and movies and etc). I want to go somewhere with less buildings! I want to see more skies!! Love pulau semakau for that exact reason. Love how I can see the sky and sea separated by a line. šŸ™‚ And it’s better than ecp in a lot of ways I think.

Ok I pretty much said all there is to say. šŸ™‚ Trudging on, I’m going to finish Pros with no regrets. Go steph!!!


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