a geek or so

I’m actually reading a book which was on the Recommended Books to Read Before School Starts list. Hmm, maybe some people would think i’m being very kiasu. Honestly, that is slightly true but that’s not the entire reason i’m reading. I’m also trying to get accustomed to reading/digesting what i’m reading because that is something i havent been doing for… 8 months. Furthermore, being a non-bio student, there’s always this nagging feeling that you know alot less and have to catch up freaking quickly compared to your bio compatriots. I fear rushing when school starts and i’m not in the mood/right condition to rush.

It’s about a week or so and i’m approximately 1/6 into the book and that includes preface, content page and intro which i conveniently skipped.The process of reading gave me mixed feelings and many insights(what a big word to use here haha).

1) My attention span has dropped so much it must be a new record. Maybe part of the reason is because it’s an ebook, and using a laptop naturally lures you away from what you’re supposed to be doing. Like now hahaha, I actually have the ebook opened you know. But i’m here hahaha, even i’m mystified too. >:O Not to mention i watched 2 or 3 episodes of Brilliant Legacy in the afternoon… and cooked dinner… and cleaned the fish tank. The latter 2 activities can still be due to using the laptop i guess. Must have felt tired sitting down for so long.

2) I read slower than a snail now. Digest like one too. Sometimes i read the paragraphs 3-4 times and still don’t get what the author is saying. Then i checked the seniors’ notes and it’s there! That means whatever i didnt get will be taught in school. Mega relief. Then again, there are some things which i thought were not important and didnt really understand at the start of the book (like the types of tissues, muscles etc) kept resurfacing as i read on… that contributed to some panic. I guess certain things like this are considered basics and when i don’t see them in the seniors’ notes, it’s scary. Thankfully this book has a summary after each chapter so… i just hope it will help somehow.

3) I find it very hard to picture the descriptions. Yeah there are diagrams and some pictures but usually i get lost halfway looking at either. I wonder if it’s because i havent read/studied any bio stuff for so long that i’m not used to the way things are discussed. A little not used to just reading and going ahh it’s just like that lo. Physics was different somehow, can’t really pinpoint it too. D:

4) The Play Hard vs. Start Early Dilemma. I think this problem might have led to point number 1 haha. Hmm maybe the solution to the dilemma is just to strike a balance. But talk is easy afterall.

I really have this fear of being absolutely lost when school starts and everyone else can move along easily. I’m even scared of forgetting my chem basics. Fear is quite… powerful. Maybe fear is just an excuse for not trying harder.

Fear is just an excuse for not trying harder. Hahahaha, that must be one of the wisest things i’ve ever said in a long time! Welcome back the inner writer! 😀

Anyway, moving on, some reports on what i’ve been up to.

I met up with the 6G girls yesterday! Happy happy! So so so so so glad to see the familiar faces again. It’s just the sense of comfort and ease of being yourself that makes me so happy. And of course, sharing the same frequency, whether it’s just conversation or sense of humour. 2 friends are leaving the country soon to study overseas! Hope they’ll still come back next year or something… at times like this, i’m really thankful for the existence of technology and its connectivity. 🙂 It’s also kinda sad after the meet-up because the realisation of everyone going different paths sank in. Even for friends who are going to local universities, you realise you no longer get what they are going through anymore. And you feel the distance that is going to develop in time. People will say, it’s just a phase in life. But it’s pretty sad right, if the distance really grows.

Went for volleyball training 2 days ago and played a few matches. Lots to improve on, as usual. There’s training tmr too. Hope i’ll do better. It feels good to look forward to playing volleyball again. I lost that feeling at some point in time in year 4-6. And i thought i was going to give up on the sport. I guess, i will, in terms of playing competitively for some school/some sort of organisation/something that makes me lose my composure every single time i play a match. It’s so much better to play just because you want to play. Although the trainings are for a competition too, but there’s no stress on me at all for now, strangely.

That sort of summed up my week. Going to sleep after i read 5 more pages of the book (i wonder if i’m just going through the motions alr). 140 of 657! 10 pages short of my initial aim but… i’ll just do better tmr haha. Welcome back the procrastinator too. NOW because i need to wake up early tmr. 15 pages short of my initial aim. T_T The procrastinator is back!

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