march to your own drummer

Let words unravel my thoughts.

_

It’s post medicine interview. I’m not going to run through the type of questions they asked. From what i read from other forums/blogs, there are people who walk out convinced that medicine is not for them. Well, i wouldnt say i was totally convinced (i secretly think i just don’t want to admit defeat to the interviewers, but it wasn’t a compt in the first place ahhh…) but they definitely gave me a lot of food for thought. Ironically, i lost my appetite for 2 meals because of the interviews haha. Lunch and dinner on the day of the interview, honestly it was nerve-wrecking. The former was just cos i was nervous, the latter was… i can’t really describe it either, lots of mixed feelings, i think it was just mainly confusion and the shakiness. 
Reading forums and blogs are somewhat informative, if you’re looking for job scope/description and demands of being a doctor. But ultimately, whether you can be one by studying in this local uni… depends a lot on your own conviction and beliefs. Just a word of caution, know why specifically medicine. Can be your own beliefs, experiences or knowledge about the job. If you do know, i guess at least you can somewhat satisfy them when they question your intention. From my experience of reading things like this, the initial thought is: wah piang, i also know! i want answers! 
Haha not my problem. Anyway that’s just my personal opinion. That’s where i think i failed. Not conclusive yet, but my gut tells me so. So, to all aspiring doctors, know yourself well and good luck!~
_
Post mortem: some reflections i had when i was free at work. To many people i seemed like i was in a daze but my brain was moving alright!
A lot of times i thought i knew better, but i honestly didnt. As a matter of fact, i still feel quite lost about my direction of life. Have a job where i do what i like or just earn money and invest in things i like. Then… what do i really like?
Music. Food. Pocket watches. Vinyl records. Instant food. Potato and its associated food. Eggs in all forms. Cheese. Having enough sleep. Shoes. Being in the know. Century egg porridge. Weird facts. Some history. Astronomy. Astrology. Cool photographs. Flowers. Moderate amount of sunshine. Running man. Postcards. Travelling. 
In short, i need money and i need time. But time = money? I need a good pay (enough to spend and spare). To travel, to eat, to collect the things i want. I need time to do all these too. Ultimately, i feel that i’m just going to treat a job as a means to an end. Slowly work towards having these things? I’m probably superficial but that’s really all i came up with.
And my emotional side is like forever on ground zero so i don’t know what i’ll want in terms of the touchy-feely intangible aspect of life. 
That’s what happens when you don’t really have something you like or dislike. Throw me anything and i would probably do it. Just out of responsibility. 
_
Life, as of now.
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