the problem with apathy

Hmm i thought social etiquette was so much better than the leadership thing. At least i found it kind of fascinating at some parts. Some people still thought it was boring, but still better than the leadership workshop. Haha if these 2 things were offered in lower sec, i doubt there will be really a lot of positive responses anyway.

School is going to end soon, with Vesak day on Friday marking the end of the horrific 6 months. I guess i still can’t/am not performing up to expectations, both my parents’ and mine. My mum isnt as concerned about my studies now compared to the past, hmm ok, only when the report card comes back. I suppose she just supposes that i know what i need to do. Yeah, i do know, but things aren’t exactly working out. Sigh, secondary school is indeed different from jc, and i think that this isnt the worst yet. As in, there are bound to be people in other schools -um, let’s say the elite schools- who have a harder time than us. And i wonder if i can even survive a day in there. Anyway, my dad is more concerned about me updating him with the results and he knows i have tests cos i use studying for tests as a shield from chores. As for me, i get at least mildly upset when i’m performing below average. Can’t help it.

There are times when i just wish the news of bad results can just be swept under the carpet. But eventually they acculmulate and you know you can’t avoid the fact that things are going down down down. In the past, maybe it was possible to just forget about one or a few bad results, but now, if i continue to ignore the problem right in front of me, i think the only one who’s going to die is me. I should try harder and work harder for the next 2 terms.

I should start planning for the holidays! Trainings aren’t confirmed yet, but shouldnt affect the plans too much i guess.
31 May – 4 June : Pre u sem
11 June : Some dialogue
21 June : Back to school for Chem + GP
5G chalet somewhere in 2nd/3rd week, can’t rmb, that takes about 3 days away.
At least 1 day out with ex-classmates.
Left with 17 days for studying and PW D:

So, it’s actually less than 2 weeks for mugging, cos surveys and interviews will take away some time, and in case of shocking-wanna-die scenarios. :/ Who wants a study date? I need someone to keep me in check! And i got to abstain from over-indulgence in entertainment! Someone just sms me randomly to remind me please. Somehow, the older i get, the more i lack self-discipline and can’t help procrastinating. I believe it’s called escapism.


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