if only words can do magic, then i wouldnt still be so angsty, and angry all the time. if only a simple ‘cheer up’ can do the trick. and now the problem of the problem is that i dunno what exactly is the problem, psychological/biological/whatever. sigh.
just keep feeling that alot of things are unfair and there’s alot of biasness involved. and then when i’m trying to “rectify” the issue by… i dunno, zao4 fan3?, more problems arise. relationships get strained, talking becomes a chore. a risk, like something even worse might happen if the converstaion continues and then i retort too much, and then the cycle goes on.
sometimes i dun get why some other ppl can get away with their bad attitudes but i can’t. they can whine and be spared the work but i can’t. and the worse thing is feeling so awful after everything over i dunno what. not exactly guilt, just angry, at myself, at everything.
i hate it when ppl ask me to do work(i.e. chores, helping out at home/work) based on the fact that i stayed at home for the day. that doesnt mean i dun do anything right. i do wash the dishes after lunch, cook lunch(sometimes), fold the clothes, do other misc stuff like copying stuff for my mum once in a while, and then i help out during dinner when asked to, which includes chopping stuff, washing more stuff, cleaning up after everything is cooked. and then after dinner, i somehow expect the time to be completely at my disposal. even if i am called to wash dishes/do laundry… ok fine. but not being asked to do those things by you when you are the one being asked to do them, because i stayed at home all day. do you know from the clothes i folded, most of them are yours. do you know i can cook dinner using much less utensils than you. ok fine, forget dinner, since you honestly do cook better than me. but i just really can’t accept the fact that jobs are pushed to me, when it’s not like i havent done my part. and the fact that it isnt being done so to others who dun do alot on a daily/more frequent basis. yeah yeah, they do the more intellectual stuff like taxes/accounts, but that doesnt last for all 365 days.
i’m so bloody sick of the 随传随到 obligation. dun i do work at home too? just because you dun see, it doesnt mean i dun do.
in conclusion, the two worst reasons to make ppl do work:
1) because you stay at home all day
2) because you are a girl (self explanatory. if you are a girl, you know. what, guys dun have hands, cannot do ah.)
solution; maybe if i stop comparing…