as i wonder why you never let me in,
i realised that i never did let you in either.
i hate it when you think
you’re finally breathing for yourself
and then something has to happen
to let you know you’re not.
many people dread the start of a new year.
somehow, a part of me wishes for it badly.
for journey to liberty,
for the start of something hectic.
another excuse for me to push everything away
despite yearning for it.
for i won’t have to explain,
and i’d just have to wait,
for things to happen,
for things to change,
for them to be the way i want them to.
and then i can lament
and no one can blame it on me
cause i dun have the right
for things to change.
i hate the way my mood changes,
when i think i’ve grown,
and end up making the wrong decisions,
the wrong judgments,
the wrong assumptions.
sometimes i wish i was so much more,
without worrying about the wrong choices,
the people i’d upset,
the future i shall face.