YTD: tmr is The Day. judgment, fear, anxiety, anticipation and so much more. but it’s ok, i know we’d do fine yeah?! 😀 hairteliser ftw!~~~ i think i’m trying to psycho myself. haha but really, i dun think it’s that scary after the run-through with miss lee today. but ya la, miss lee leh, tmr is like…. woahhhh.
haha i think this year i keep talking to people abt our age. since usually i talk abt this kind of things with my as-old-as-me peers(wahahaha), we get the “oh shit how ah, we turning 17 soon!” reaction. and then we will talk abt how 17/18 is supposed to be our “黄金时期”/”young blossoming flower age/something along that line. and then ytd before i slept i had this super crazy thought that i want to 轰轰烈烈地谈恋爱 HAHAHAHAHAHA. ok this is super super crazy, but come to think abt it, that was how i wanted my life to be like when i was young. and now it even further proves that whatever i had thought abt when i was young is totally unrealistic. sorry la i got small social circle only hahaha, the above mentioned chinese words are just….. a passing dream? hahahahahaha.
TODAY: cid oral was…………………. unexpected. happiness = reality/expectations. really, proven liao. oh well, it’s over~ jiu zhe yang suan liao ba.
didnt go for training, was supposed to go for friendly at queenstown sec. but i came home to study bio. anyway, i really really have no confidence in matches now. not in the team but myself. i kept thinking to myself on the way home; if i really train hard and work on my basics, will i really get better and really help the team? why is it that i say i want to work hard this year and stop wasting time, i still do? does things work in such a way that passion -> determination -> breaking boundaries, widening limits -> what you really want in the end? am i going to be an all-talk-no-action person? ultimately i posted so many qns but i dunno the answers. shld i just go for it and hope that trying hard without the appropriate skills will still enable me to make it? or wait and think, and go round in circles without ever getting an answer. really really getting sick of getting nowhere and knowing that you havent reached the ultimate. it’s really been a waste. i ought to start the engine and get moving soon.
where’s the formula to get what you want?