hey hey, trace-the-moment.blogspot.com. 🙂
going to kampong tmr again for the filming. hope i can contribute more. 😡 sian i have abolutely no intention of moving but at the same time i find no point staying at home since it’s quite !@#$ these days, and neither is it fun to go out and stone and stare at other ppl moving around. yet at the same time, i think there’s a need for me to communicate, to something or someone. which means a certain movement of the lips or fingers is needed. i choose….. fingers! cos there isnt anyone to really talk to. zzzzzz.
sometimes i hate to wear shoes. yes and socks. the feeling of fabric wrapped around the foot. you know even when i sleep i dun cover my feet, unless it’s freezing, which usually isnt anyway. and when you wear them, you have to consider the colour, the purpose, the consequence. example, wearing some damn pretty shoes but you have to move around in the jungle or smth like that/just 500m and then you end up with blisters. if only we can go barefooted anywhere and anytime and not get injured. my brain is too developed for such considerations. haha nah jk, i’m just sick of wearing black/white shoes, socks that are hole-ly, sinking socks, for 5/7 of the weeks for the past 4 years. yeah i’m fortunate to go to school with shoes and socks, but the grass is always greener somewhere else and somehow you will wish you are in a situation better than n-o-w. or maybe it’s just me. 😡
for the past few weeks i can’t help but wonder what i’ve become.
i’ve loved, lost, won, lost very badly, emo-ed, got lost, become confused, sad, angry at myself, angry with the world, angry with everyone around, been shocked, surprised, thought alot, wonder if i shld stop talking all tgt, watched my tongue, forgot to filter my words sometimes, got pissed at ppl, refused to apologise, felt inferior, got over things, realised i havent really got over the things, hated, disliked, gossiped, felt happier, start to question, can’t find an answer, gave up, give in, lied, felt guilty, copied, criticised, had evil thoughts, found excuses, been nice or at least that’s what they say, kept secrets, leaked a few, two-faced…… tried to be a good person all over again.
you know, 2008 and 2009 were the most challenging years/years-to-be. exposed to totally different kinds of ppl, i wonder if i really adapted and was really that happy. it’s tiring to watch so many things and be careful not to step on toes.