used to

in moments like this, what do you do? 1. crying, wasting water, have to drink more water, or you die from dehydration. or rather crying is more of an exhaustion than a health hazard. at least no one cried till they die, from what i know. i have no idea why ppl can cry, why they can feel sad, how the hell feelings work. why the hell they shld exist. 2. pretend nothing happened, play with the pokemon puzzle game, win like siao, and ultimately feel nothing in the end. at least from feeling negative, you play and you dun feel anything. zero, numb, hungry in the end. 3. work (try to), do compos, writing lies, thinking if you’d ever go the hell for that, for lying, your way through everything. do they know that the As you get on your report books are based on the lies you made up everytime?

the world is ran by lies. we know the truth but we prefer the lies, how true. from shirleen by the way. i wonder if i’m thinking rationally now.


2b bbq/chalet ytd, it was fun but i can’t bring myself to use exclaimation marks. because of what happened after that.

demanding/overbearing/conservative. maybe, maybe.

rebellious/irresponsible/some vulgar word you like. maybe, maybe.

cos i really dun want to give a shit alr. i shall reduce myself to a no-lifer, since the way you say it is no different from being one. woohoo lets write compos/lies and be banished to hell later on. yay that’s so fun. lets not go out anymore, be a couch potato, get bullied, get ordered around by an asshole. yay that’s comforting.

still, i think it’s easier said than done.

sui1 ran2 bu4 neng2 tian1 chang2 di4 jiu3 dan4 zhi4 shao3 ceng2 jin1 yong1 you3.

at least i did have fun.


anyway, back to the depressing/emo part. yes yes for once i think i’m emo-ing too. but i dun want to talk abt this to anyone, so dun ask la. just writing what i feel like writing.

true truth trust. the third word has no link, but you know what, this words are not real, they exist only because we want them to exist so we treat it like they actually exist. i’m pretty much convinced that nothing is true in the world. there are too many contradictions. people only believe what they WANT to believe. even if they are lies. cos they are delusional, it makes them feel that they are right and they can live the rest of their lives with a so-called clear conscience.

note: this is not reliable because you’re reading something from someone who is just complaining and complaining and not really thinking. i’m not trying to brainwash you.

ultimately what can we do.
.
.
.
.
.
.
like the answer, nothing.


used to. i guess it’s still something to be happy abt. sui1 ran2 bu4 neng2 tian1 chang2 di4 jiu3 dan4 zhi4 shao3 ceng2 jin1 yong1 you3. like any other accident, YOU WERE AT THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME.

wince.


if whatever i wrote, abt the lies, is true(not to comfuse you), then i must be a fake too.

eh sorry, may be that i was crapping for the entire post.

face the real world.

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